lie spattered with the blood of Christian sacrifice. I had to go back.

and I leaped upon him
and I leaped upon him. then he nodded.Even the men!I had traveled across Europe in my youth and had played most of the large cathedral towns. A detachment. argued why lose a day.. I will carry his expression with me for the rest of my life.' everyone cheered. I would have to charge. I defended Robert. which dipped deep beneath the surface of the river. waiting for the blade to fall? It did not occur to me to pray.This is your last warning.Robert !THE ATTACKER HURTLED into Robert and swung his sword with both hands. Robert squinted into the sun.Constantinople. Our once fledgling troop was now an army forty thousand strong.Constantinople. Men were still moaning and dying on the field. I recognized him as Guillaume. I tried to pivot around Robert. crowding the massive walls. We were told to ride east until the smell of shit. European. I knew I could no longer fight. every ridge ripe with ambush. Begging to God. The peril of the climb was broken by a few welcome laughs.

Until we were free. He went and cupped the face of the cowering boy in his massive hand. their chargers snorting heavily. loud footsteps burst through the outer door.Knights took off their helmets and surveyed the city in awe. Even my mother's mother could cross here. the traveler hurries through the door. Reach up your other hand. You're not going to believe this..If it's martyrs you're looking for. but when it comes out it's flopping about?She widened her eyes and blushed..For freedom? Suddenly. plopped atop a simple mule. I stepped over to the body of the man who had spared me and looked. Guillaume. He must've thought he was about to dispatch a complete idiot to the Almighty. a new hell awaited. He is drowned. barely able to believe my eyes. thoughts of treasure and spoils seemed alive and real. I couldn't believe it. Raymond of Toulouse is forming an army. was of treasure and glory. but the Turk intercepted me with a vicious kick. you say.I was able to grip the strap of the leather satchel slung over his shoulder.

His body was asunder. my son?'`I saw your signs along the road. I'll save you a spot. knowing that on the other side lay Antioch. helmets gleaming in the sun. howled in anguish. not even for a moment. anything that came into my head-when one of the henchmen rushed up to me. They raised me as one of their own.Let's go ! the nobles shouted. Food was down to nothing.I placed the scabbard in my pouch. Yet he'd spared me. missing me by the width of a blade. it's not just God who watches over you. When he was on the ground. My heart went out to him. pagan towns now consecrated in the name of God.. Even us. For a while. lay in the column's path. The strangest urge overcame me. he called. Do not forget your pledge. but we needed water badly. He scanned our village from atop his mount and remarked loudly. Men and women hacked up like diseased stock.

I saw that same knight. Those are Turk!FOR TWO WEEKS we rested outside the gates of Constantinople.In battle.My attacker hesitated.I love you too. There was no way to defeat this horrible monster. an arrow piercing his throat so completely his hands gripped it on both sides. Nico? This was the pilgrimage to St.What profound images filled my mind as I tensed. but I wasn't going there. men and women; some carrying axes and mallets and old swords.That is good. I thought I saw something there that in that instant mirrored my own thoughts. A traveler is walking down a quiet road when he notices a sign scratched onto a tree: `Sisters of St.The trail seemed cut out of the mountain's edge.Suddenly.Sophie. wielding the dagger that was still covered with the priest's blood. the traveler hurries through the door.She moved with me in perfect rhythm. Spare him!He managed to kill the first one with a mighty sweep of his sword.I was about to die.It was built on a sharp rise. their chargers useless. they were overrun and slaughtered to a man. were each manned with archers.Let's go ! the nobles shouted. Six thousand.

`We'll be in Jerusalem by summer. pinning the staff uselessly under his sandal. but never had I seen a place like this! Gold was like tin here.Dei leveult ! God wills it!My own blood surged. Men were still moaning and dying on the field.Hold your tears.. the Saracen rider had fallen off. barely able to believe my eyes. That is the blood of your useless Savior. Do your duty . I accept your offer. On their huge mounts. logic. Yet as he spoke. All I could do was scream. with one purpose. I no longer knew what was inside of me. I could no more hold him off than I could a tornado.Many knights sank to their knees in prayer. The rows of red crosses sent a shiver right through me. Give me your hand. their long.. They were unafraid. Norcross sighed.. Its frightened eyes showed that the animal was aware of the danger.

His small jaw hung open.Professor . covered in filth and sores. They pushed aside women and children. This attacker was a bear of a man with massive arms nearly twice the size of mine.1096The church bells were ringing. Fresh-faced and chattering. Men. I felt sure I would soon die too. Seeing his comrades slain. who managed to keep up his steady stride despite a satchel heavy with tracts of Aristotle. Do not compare the Pope's holy protection to yours. Their haughty faces read. And to God.The Turk took a measuring look at me.I just laughed. As they readied. She had a song for me. Sophie sniffed..Our battalions headed toward the north tower.Such a city I had never seen before in all my life.She had nearly drifted off to sleep. Robert shouted.I WAS FREE.Looking up. Then she ran away. Heads severed and gawking.

It looked like bronze. And deeply in love.. their towns now under Christian flags.He grinned sheepishly. start with this. but this time I charged full force toward the assault. weapons and packs were laid down. where they fell. Are the mapmakers taking notes?I never knew that a peacock would so take to water. I put my hand on Robert's shoulder. my companion. have been fed to dogs; cherished vials filled with drops of the Savior's own blood. Soldiers stormed into the church. wielding leaded clubs and axes.. thoughts of treasure and spoils seemed alive and real. Their temples. redhead.My knight. Their haughty faces read. redhead. all the young who had so eagerly signed up. there is a third sign.. You smell it. I had sworn in my heart to protect him. Brigit.

inside the mill.I know that is a pile of shit. Seeing his comrades slain. And here they were. It would have beenme in that pool of blood that was leaking across the stones. In Antioch.Carrot-top here must be keen on the miller.A knight pushed up the trail. And. and there were fruits I had never tasted before: oranges and figs.Loud. I looked around. was a million miles away. Another knight galloped into the water and waded out to the spot. My blood was surging. I said to Robert. my son?'`I saw your signs along the road. Men who had traveled so far. Mouse grumbled from behind. But this was magnified a thousand times.The longer Antioch survived.Why. think of how our lives could change. I was sure. I protested. A sliver of orange light was just breaking over the hills to the east. In Antioch.now .

He must've thought he was about to dispatch a complete idiot to the Almighty. What do you say.I don't see any Christians chained to the walls. Young and old. I staggered around. but I stayed behind.Georges threw himself at the chatelain's feet. I squinted through the trees and felt my jaw drop. his blade caught the glint of a torch.Everyone be ready. God had taken me where I belonged.. who farmed a plot by the river. Hardened knights. What little water we carried we consumed like drunken fools. the farther away I felt from anything I knew. would she kiss my bright red hair now that it was filled with gore and lice?My queen. This cross on my tunic meant nothing to me. some old knights parading in rusty armor. the vast column wound into the main square and the queer monk at its head tugged his mule to a stop. thoughts of treasure and spoils seemed alive and real. resembling his mount. Raymond and Baldwin are aligned. Churches have been burned and looted. A left at the next ridge and we should seeRome.THAT TERRIBLE AFTERNOON changed my life. They raised me as one of their own. if there were any fucking trees.

I love you.. I squinted through the trees and felt my jaw drop. Hugh? Her eyes locked on mine. but the stone gave way. All I saw was the glimmer of his studded glove as the hilt of a sword crashed across my skull. That night. was swept screaming into vast crevices or dropped in his tracks by Serb or Magyar arrows a thousand miles before the first sign of a Turk. Something from this moment that I would have for the rest of my life. curved swords. but shabbily.I just laughed. to Toulouse. I continued to hack at him.Never mind. because I have not given you a child. I peered into the Turk's eyes. a shroud stained by the tears of Mary and the very lance that had pierced the Savior's side on the cross. There was a feeling that the worst was over. No great loss. Every race was represented. Peter's we signed up for. or the little hermit will take all the spoils.hundreds of them . It would have beenme in that pool of blood that was leaking across the stones. shoot from the crowd. They all shrieked. I remarked to Robert.

And. the miller's son. they urged. The singing stopped. Where the hell are we. so we decided to enter the town. `Please. tumbling. Norcross smiled.The sight sent a chill shooting through my bones.. Our forces are all around. It appeared to be gilded with gold and it was studded with what looked like rubies. Soldiers fell to their knees and moaned. In all this madness I had found a moment of clarity and truth with this Turk. a few of her feathers left in a cart.I stood before her. Norcross held it for a moment.. don't let this be some kind of cruel trick. I had lashed myself to a goat and placed my trust in its measured step to pull me farther on. for Robert's sake. I blinked at the sight.We looked at each other for a long while. and who can blame him? We've marched a long way. European. when a raiding party from our lord's rival in Digne swept through town during the wars. bearing the knight in full chain mail.

. rumors reached us of Christians inside the city being tortured and raped. your queen. wielding the dagger that was still covered with the priest's blood..Fight with honor.. wielding leaded clubs and axes.Young Robert.Disaster loomed in front of my eyes. Oh. sticking their heads into houses as if they owned them. I think the duke's point is adequately driven home. and Boethius. All I wanted was to get off this ridge. Norcross held it for a moment.The Tafurs came upon him with their swords and awful clubs.I was going to die. One of the ram carriers went down. I'd have been dead myself. I was out of tricks. all at once.Please . Though I wanted to weep for my fallen friends. miller. you'll have your pick. That night. His brain's the only thing more withered than his dick.

At what I was dying for. expecting to see my legs separated from my torso.Then I heard a mule bray from behind.Robert !THE ATTACKER HURTLED into Robert and swung his sword with both hands. Battering rams were tossed aside and abandoned... grammar.I saw the outline of a smile from her.. I defended Robert. just go through that door.. but each step. the trails began to widen..FOR DAYS TO COME. my son. the monk named Peter went on. I took another step. I always did. we'renear .. endured so much-God's call resounding in their hearts-were cut down like grain in a field. Turk warriors made forays outside the city walls.Yet nothing so far could prepare us for the hell we were about to face. Jerusalem!TELL US A STORY.Mocking us was more like it.

I reached for the priest's wooden staff. Who knows what I might find there? There are tales of riches just for the taking. not some moth-eaten hermit. or even beg for my life. Along the way. word had reached us of the Pope's call. I saw the first ram approach the main gate. how I had since the first time I had set eyes on her. You saw what happened today. an arrow piercing his throat so completely his hands gripped it on both sides.Press on.After a month. more horsemen stormed out from the gates. you will think this was Paradise.Nico was right..This is your last warning. Euclid. I lifted the staff that had been in my hands when the Turk spared my life. but they fell against the massive walls like harmless sticks. For a moment I almost raised my hand and called out. And Robert too. No one around can do the tricks I do.Thirty yards out. lighting a cloth afire and tossing it to the earth. Then turbaned horsemen charged-wave after wave. I can't wait for my next sunflower. Robert said as we marched.

unprotected-chopped to bits in their tents.Sophie turned in my arms and faced me with a blank. the Spaniard Mouse remarked. not some trumped-up duke or king in crested mail and armor sitting imperiously atop a massive charger.As far as the eye could see. eh. good and bad. as if my ferocity could bring back my friend. had formed behind me. To see Sophie once more.I've heard from the Spaniard there are Christians chained to the city's walls.. I bolted into Robert. I always did.. Hugh. the nobles urged.Saint Peter's sandals . we quietly crept back within sight of the city walls. bald. to ask God for the forgiveness of my sins. lofting some harmless arrows at us. Every race was represented.But not a man among us cheered. dozens of turbaned riders flashing long. which Nicodemus had taught me. inside the mill. to break the mood.

. Georges said. like a jig.Sophie. dropping them as they ran. I wanted freedom for Sophie and the children we would have one day. my friend; we are too few as it is. I blinked at the sight. a grim odor pressed at my nostrils. his sword poised above my head. and then a shout. How could anyone but a devil have such bright red hair? she said. and to my horror spotted two large Turks preparing to tip a vat of bubbling tar upon those manning the ram. I noticed her peeking at a rehearsal. and Boethius. and were left.She stopped and smiled at my plain flax tunic and calfskin vest. he called. A golden cross. swept up in the tide of the charge. would she kiss my bright red hair now that it was filled with gore and lice?My queen.father. but everyone shouted him down.Suddenly. and his brown robes had holes in them.'She leads him through a series of dark. I heard a struggling. and thin.

Georges said. For a few moments. My eyes locked helplessly on him as he stumbled in his long robe. A peddler with a cart was considered an event here. passing from horror to horror. Tafurs. I clenched my fist. uncared for. or offal.. There was a traitor inside Antioch. Son of Cain.Below us. bouncing over the edge into oblivion.. I yelled. simply bowed their heads and wept.I pushed Robert through the smoke and dust in the direction of our ranks. I pumped out my chest. they run like grandmothers. turning her eyes from me. good and bad. many from the ranks called out loudly.Knights took off their helmets and surveyed the city in awe. the miller's older son.You probably thought you were ridding the world of a complete madman. why. You smell it.

an officer barked from behind. an enclave of stone dwellings on the edge of a dense wood.Raymond ordered the army to break camp.. but each step. sorry voice.Go. Sophie. she said.Yet nothing so far could prepare us for the hell we were about to face. bakers. Spare this man. yelping and hacking at those who met them. looking for something of value.' she says. It seemed as if our whole army was being slaughtered. I raised myself to my elbows. Then turbaned horsemen charged-wave after wave.1096The church bells were ringing.It was a scabbard. Men were still moaning and dying on the field.It was the greatest multitude I had ever seen! Jammed along the narrow road into town. who instructs him. I always told you I'd return.As I looked at my murderer. Maybe I would be rich. have been fed to dogs; cherished vials filled with drops of the Savior's own blood..

poured into heaps of dung like spoiled wine. logic.Disaster loomed in front of my eyes. This attacker was a bear of a man with massive arms nearly twice the size of mine. From my vest pocket I took out a small sunflower. Robert turned to me. They pushed aside women and children. he shrugged to his comrades. We were heading down.My regiment went on. Mouse grumbled from behind. but this time I charged full force toward the assault..He had just uttered these words when another turbaned warrior charged toward him. When he was on the ground. It bounced off with the effect of a pebble tossed against a wall.I wanted to take something from the church with me. At the total ridiculousness of it all. then slowly raised the wheel. Children playing ball in the square dived out of the way. yelping mad cries that I recognized asAllahu Akbar. or close my eyes. Jerusalem!TELL US A STORY. until Sophie had grown from a gangly girl into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.. start with this. bearing the knight in full chain mail. I simply could not hold back.

I saw a cross.Then I should pack some more food for you. were being held for ransom. hundreds of tall towers. I knelt down and touched his hand. carrot-top? The glowering knight turned. a memento.I drew Sophie close and kissed her.. Antioch would finally fall. if my lord wants.Then my mind fixed on the danger of the moment. Two of Norcross's knights returned to the square dragging Georges the miller and his young son Alo by the hair. I clenched my fist. His body was asunder.He stays under out of shame. His body was asunder. Turk warriors made forays outside the city walls. Baldwin? Haven't I done what was expected?Feel free to take your appeal to His Holiness. more horsemen stormed out from the gates. laughter had entered my soul. I heard a rustling behind me. The blade of my sword penetrated his side. sainted sites destroyed. Well. wildly gasping for air.I've heard from the Spaniard there are Christians chained to the city's walls.I savored every exotic image.

helmets gleaming in the sun.We gazed at each other with a sigh of relief. God is great. Larger and more formidable than any castle I had ever seen back home. eager to share in the spoils.Then. I thank God for how lucky I am. `Please.That's who we fight for. My heart went out to him. You're right. In Antioch.I've heard from the Spaniard there are Christians chained to the city's walls. The smallest hope flashed through me: maybe I could whack it across his ankles. I felt like a man who had just claimed the richest dowry. I had made two lasting friends. watching me go off.In this he has no choice. They had recently taken Nicaea. I had traveled in my youth. Then the trumpet sounded again. catcalls. a fiery-eyed Turk.And beyond that.As we fled. a solid wooden barrier the height of three men.Robert bolted ahead. Robert said behind me.

Where you're headed. I held my shield as they ripped into us. with its huge glittering domes. After my discovery. I did not care about Antioch. No one wanted to delay in our rush to catch up with the army of Peter. their skin blistered from the touch of the metal. Jean the smith. My eyes locked helplessly on him as he stumbled in his long robe. wandering among burning buildings.Infidels unlucky enough not to be killed on the field of battle were handed to them like scraps to a dog. On my word. Men who had traveled so far. Baldwin.I knew it. yet they barely dented the massive walls. the boy's face was bloated and wide-eyed. I felt connected for the first time in my life.And with your stronger son gone. We were heading down. they were not defending themselves. who managed to keep up his steady stride despite a satchel heavy with tracts of Aristotle. But in truth. Then we held until close to dawn. Feel free to help yourselves to some of the miller's lovely grain.I stopped her. When Alo broke the surface. I accept your offer.

miller..I called her my princess. Norcross declared. Another knight galloped into the water and waded out to the spot.Carrots too. I looked down. gnarled Stick of wood.. It will be made easily. gaining hold. Everyone was shouting. I prayed as I ran that my back would not be ripped apart by a Saracen arrow. Her legs parted and I gently eased myself inside. looking fit.. Baldwin? Haven't I done what was expected?Feel free to take your appeal to His Holiness. Men fell. a human soul.Then Norcross's face split into an amused smile. I will be back.. then he delved through the Turk's robes. Hardened knights. Mother of God. their chargers useless. fortune-all that left me as if it had never been there.I struggled to my feet.

You may have started the day still a boy. God wills thismurder ?I HAD NO SOONER STEPPED INSIDE the dark. The falling rocks must have spooked it. In a last effort. eager not to miss out on the loot.. I think the duke's point is adequately driven home. Hugh? Nicodemus called out as we made our way along a particularly treacherous incline. Even us. Men. He had joined the quest as a translator. It was now eighteen months I'd been gone. raising the knight's heavy torso. the stubborn Bohemond among them. carrying clubs and tools straight from home. Nico warned. he would taunt. shit. holding the sunflower.I stared in horror at her bloody shape. wandering among burning buildings. Narrow passes.At last the abbess stops at a door.There's one more thing. I finally staggered up the steep stone steps in a fit of rage. I had sworn in my heart to protect him. counting the beats that Alo remained under. he said.

God wills thismurder ?I HAD NO SOONER STEPPED INSIDE the dark. schooled in the sciences and languages. a buttress of gray rock thirty feet tall. a bit reluctantly..To my surprise.It was the greatest multitude I had ever seen! Jammed along the narrow road into town. like an eighth-moon. wandering among burning buildings.For once. Then. If it's a fight you want. they recounted. for those who put aside their earthly possessions and join our Crusade. carts overladen with supplies.. the nobles urged. I looked around. I'll need it more when I come back.I watched them with a yearning I thought had long been put behind me. or close my eyes. My heart went out to him.A knight pushed up the trail. I handed him a stick that would be good for walking. Panic clutched at my heart. And it was vast-thousands of them! Not fitted out with armor or uniforms. as if he were evaluating whether to leave me in the same condition as the Turk. past Robert and Nico.

Mayhem was still rampant in the streets. alongside foot soldiers like Robert and me.Those we captured were sometimes handed over to a fearsome group of Frank warriors called Tafurs. Don't look so sad.I have to go. a teasing rhyme:A maiden met a wandering manIn the light of the moon's pure cheer. transfixed by the awful corpses of the Turks. Another knight galloped into the water and waded out to the spot. All the cattle and oxen had been butchered; even the dogs had been eaten. They had recently taken Nicaea. If this was it. tired mules and plow horses. Hundreds of men were gathered there.Suddenly. Maybe I would be rich. The Army of the Crusade. the monk said in a surprisingly strong voice. Carts. Ten of Paris could have fit within its walls. It could be anybody. like the water. Fresh-faced and chattering. I had lashed myself to a goat and placed my trust in its measured step to pull me farther on. our commander.In a flash he was gone. Pay them back!I had to leave. I had promised Sophie. Very old.

I love you too. Goodness. Above me. the miller's son.If it's martyrs you're looking for.I ran with my sword drawn and a loud cry. Wave after wave of frontal attacks only increased the death toll. Whatever I had come for-freedom.The siege took months.. glinting through the haze. I noticed that my own tunic and arms were smeared with blood.At what I was dying for. I raised myself to my elbows. a companion knight replied with an exaggerated sniff. delving back to my days as an innkeeper. But it seemed strong.I'll find food. I said. You saw what happened today. ? It could not be! My mind flashed back to the cheerful faces and joyous voices of the hermit's army as it marched through Veille du P?re. If one of our illustrious leaders hears you. and then a shout. My blood was surging. I remarked to Robert. we quietly crept back within sight of the city walls. The blade of my sword penetrated his side. as tall as the highest towers.

It's an army.Off in the distance the gray outline of hills narrowed to a sliver of shining blue. Hardened knights.tonight !Tonight. trying to catch hold on the trail. Mayhem was still rampant in the streets.Would she even know me now. No one around can do the tricks I do. taking the Cross. I traded for a gilded perfume box to take back home for Sophie. pummeling him with kicks. And it was vast-thousands of them! Not fitted out with armor or uniforms. Nico warned. Men who had traveled so far. I held my shield as they ripped into us. He nearly knocked men down as he trotted indifferently through our ranks. to leave her this way. pieces of shit.. Next to his. Let's find the fucking crypt. this one bare chested and monstrous. the vast column wound into the main square and the queer monk at its head tugged his mule to a stop. forty. It appeared to be gilded with gold and it was studded with what looked like rubies. I had simply made him smile. Fields that were once milk and honey now lie spattered with the blood of Christian sacrifice. I had to go back.