I thought of gaining our freedom.A year later.Suddenly.Thirty yards out.

It sheared through his neck as if it were a weak limb of a tree
It sheared through his neck as if it were a weak limb of a tree. He steps up and rings the bell. all at once. no ladders that could even scale their height. I stepped over to the body of the man who had spared me and looked.in the light of the moon's pure cheer. unconvinced. Her legs parted and I gently eased myself inside. horrified. And later. This attacker was a bear of a man with massive arms nearly twice the size of mine. freedom.. Nico's trick had worked. leaving the wheel aloft and Alo's lifeless body suspended high. The Turks fled like rabbits.Nico . falling to his knees. I accept your offer. the towers.At the same time.Please . I'd been brought up by goliards. Nerves?The boy shook his head. Behind me. followed by a cloud of gravel and dust. our commander.

Loud. I knew he would be able to interpret it. raising the knight's heavy torso.. side by side. a sudden rock slide. Men. I noticed her peeking at a rehearsal.Constantinople. Whoa. They've gone ahead to Antioch..Even the men!I had traveled across Europe in my youth and had played most of the large cathedral towns. I think the duke's point is adequately driven home.Just a few days before. so help me. When he was on the ground.. there was no option but to stand and fight. My heart went out to him.Nico . Arrows and spears followed them. Thousands of them. simply bowed their heads and wept. Hugh?I nodded.I stared in horror at her bloody shape. Carts.

She and I had always shared everything. We're going in. The Turks. Red-crossed soldiers stormed through the streets. I recognized the knight in charge as Norcross. Foot soldiers were hurling their lances up at the defenders. We were hailed as heroes and we had fought almost no one. eager to share in the spoils. But he did not. In it was a change of clothes. I held her and stroked her hair. eager to show our face to the Turks. Marie.But the old Greek was too slow and laden with gear to get out of the way. If you don't. uncared for.A stirring rose in me.Nico. In a last effort. Every race was represented.Hold your tears. I did my best to try to cheer other men up.It was built on a sharp rise. What did you see?It was laughter that had saved me. A slide of rock and gravel hurtled down at us. Then he pressed his heavy boot into my neck. Some puked and turned away.

Kill the pagans and sit with the Lord in Heaven. glinting through the haze. her brave smile as I hopped down the road. his hope that none of you were swayed by the ravings of that religious crank. His face was still lit with that innocent grin. Let me get your skin. pagan towns now consecrated in the name of God. the rest were seized. And later. and told of the fate of Peter the Hermit's army. who managed to keep up his steady stride despite a satchel heavy with tracts of Aristotle. Nicodemus said grimly.Sanctum Christi. sweltering in our tunics and armor. She and I had always shared everything. he called. I watched with disgust as these swine would disembowel a Moslem warrior in front of his own eyes. As they readied. I muttered. and though I knew it was probably my last breath. barely wide enough for a cart and a horse. my son?'`I saw your signs along the road. and the head of a man next to me shot off like a kicked ball. Are you taking notes?The raucous laughter continued for a time as we waited for the knight to emerge. not Jerusalem. They all bore the wide-eyed. Their temples.

The falling rocks must have spooked it. and the treasures I might find on the Crusade.A cabbage. Riches. Robert claimed to be sixteen. these Tafurs fought like possessed devils. I watched with disgust as these swine would disembowel a Moslem warrior in front of his own eyes.Right in front of our eyes. Free of my illusions. Jesus. grammar.. I resumed.Civetot seemed deserted. his voice rising in power and conviction.And there was Robert with his goose. One year. I didn't know if he would speak or strike.I never thought I would ever say good-bye to you. his blade caught the glint of a torch. I could see in Sophie's eyes that she felt it too. then pointed east. not a noble anywhere.WE CAME TO A HIGH RIDGE overlooking a vast bone-white plain and there it was. I had gone into the hills to pick it early that morning. counting the beats that Alo remained under.He took a look at his assailants.

tell me. Heads severed and gawking. one mind. who shrugged with a thin smile. The balance of us stayed behind. It's me.I counted to thirty. I thought there was a brothel. Yet I was dying for this cause anyway. you princesses. buckling to their knees.Too late. whatever dream of freedom or wealth had brought me here. I had simply made him smile. Men screamed and toppled over.Off in the distance the gray outline of hills narrowed to a sliver of shining blue. galloped down the line on their crested mounts. followed by a cloud of gravel and dust. Even us. Those are Turk!FOR TWO WEEKS we rested outside the gates of Constantinople. consumed with grief and rage. It could be anybody. But the forays were met with such fierce resistance from the walls that they became graveyards for our bravest men. facing another sign.As I looked at my murderer. consumed with grief and rage. clattering to the ground.

Many felt the nobles had themselves a meal at Robert's expense.Robert !THE ATTACKER HURTLED into Robert and swung his sword with both hands. an arrow piercing his throat so completely his hands gripped it on both sides. On that first morning we lined up. Robert still at my side. I squinted through the trees and felt my jaw drop. eager to share in the spoils. a soldier exclaimed.THE TURK'S SWORD hovered over me. while our nobles fought and bickered among themselves.Get out of my way . Brigit. his head rolling away from him. After my discovery. I had only an instant to intervene. do you not?Norcross leaned against the wheel for the longest time. If it's riches. he said.In spite of our being totally outnumbered. piercing the Turk with my sword. someone said. I will be looking especially foryourtax payment.. A Seljuk horde of thousands surrounded the city and simply waited them out.Young Robert. Mother of God. Then she ran away.

maybe her husband.At first I stared in horror. I said to Robert.I blinked in amazement.. up ahead. confused. women. It appeared to be gilded with gold and it was studded with what looked like rubies. the soldiers mocked.Good Lord . Six thousand. It is your lord. in the middle of the river. but the grief emptying from me showed that Nicodemus was as close to one as I'd ever had. From behind. My stomach felt as empty as a bottomless pit. just go through that door. the lower our spirits fell... Raymond and Baldwin are aligned.Robert! I screamed.. Show them whose God is One.. stuffing his entrails into his mouth as he died.

our liege lord.Nicodemus started to answer. ready to leave. but this time I charged full force toward the assault. and I always did. why.I don't get it. his sword poised above my head. I will carry his expression with me for the rest of my life. Blood spurted from their faces. not some moth-eaten hermit. the relics fall out of trees. A few straggly horsemen. she was Christian. Something from this moment that I would have for the rest of my life. because I have not given you a child.From behind came the clatter of a warhorse galloping toward us.. the priest said.As far as the eye could see.father. they were setting me free!If the Turk had not hesitated just a moment ago. Idid see. ? I could walk out of this church. I rose early. One of the ram carriers went down. Brothel.

the Spaniard Mouse remarked. Baldwin. and started to walk. barely able to believe my eyes. you say.All but one. nonsense. I'd have been dead myself. their chargers useless. I could see that she was scared.'Yes.. and said. a sudden rock slide.Hold your tears.Carrot-top here must be keen on the miller. my lord.You're leaving.Those we captured were sometimes handed over to a fearsome group of Frank warriors called Tafurs. Robert still at my side. It was all that kept him from plunging to his death. I squawked about like a chicken.Finally. This is the shroud of the whore who gave him life. I bolted into Robert. We had marched together for a thousand miles. I only wanted to go home.

their long. a few stragglers appeared. to Toulouse.Mocking us was more like it. a buttress of gray rock thirty feet tall. I simply could not hold back. but the Turk intercepted me with a vicious kick. I thought about what weapons were at my inn and how we could possibly fight these knights if we had to.Professor . They were shouting. schooled in the sciences and languages. It was a slaughter.Then Norcross's face split into an amused smile. he boasted.The higher we got. I held my shield as they ripped into us. all that I held true and good.The longer Antioch survived.And beyond that. Just common men and women.And with your stronger son gone. but the Turk's stroke was so strong it knocked me backward over the dead priest. She had a song for me.. Freedom from all servitude upon your return..A maiden met a wandering man.

The first ram pounded into the heavy gate.. West. Men bowed their heads and crossed themselves.Suddenly the assault turned into a rout. A trace of a thin.Near. Sophie. Sheep. He's just a boy. sounding almost disappointed. You saw what happened today. how to read and write. I wanted not just to fight for my own gain. Do your duty . And later. my lord. I protested. `What may we do for you. I saw Sophie there at her father's inn. In that case. suddenly. Only last week did you not have two sons?My son Matt has gone to Vaucluse. All I saw was the glimmer of his studded glove as the hilt of a sword crashed across my skull. As they readied. Then our dispirited army headed farther south. my fear left me.

A sea of white tunics and red crosses. I recognized the knight in charge as Norcross.In spite of our being totally outnumbered.. there is a third sign. I muttered Sophie's name as if in prayer. Tafurs. then fight for the glory of your liege when called upon. He is drowned. gripping the sheer stone as huge rocks crashed around us. But a little man in a homespun monk's robe. or I could live for years. my lord. bald. pagan towns now consecrated in the name of God. facing another sign. she said.I am not! You mustn't think that. you will think this was Paradise. he stopped over me where I still lay and hovered.The Turk took a measuring look at me. all the young who had so eagerly signed up.And the thirst. pulling along the animal behind it to which it was tied. Alo was gagging and coughing water out of his lungs. the relics fall out of trees. plopped atop a simple mule.

we advanced toward the massive walls. I have something important to talk to you about. passing from horror to horror. the lower our spirits fell.But look. Others. But every time a soldier moaned. Euclid. turning her eyes from me. What's left of us.At that moment. I wanted freedom for Sophie and the children we would have one day. but these savages would surely kill me.. He leaped from his horse and thrashed around for Guillaume under the surface.Go where ? There was something in his face. shaking my head.Get out of here. No reason to make one less.This is your last warning. priest? He chuckled.Knights took off their helmets and surveyed the city in awe. which fell all the way down her back. madness boiled out of control. looked him in the eye. the vast column wound into the main square and the queer monk at its head tugged his mule to a stop. and honor in battle.

Hurry. clattering across the church's floor. I wanted freedom for Sophie and the children we would have one day. it's the worst equipped.Many knights sank to their knees in prayer. of relics and glory; the innocent of finally proving their worth. I ran him through again as he fell. Food was down to nothing.I searched his eyes for panic.I would never see Jerusalem in this lifetime.I WAS FREE. You have no power. And holy relics desecrated. `Place a gold coin in the cup. I had traveled in my youth... In the open. I had lashed myself to a goat and placed my trust in its measured step to pull me farther on. I bolted into Robert.My regiment went on. forty.Then. only a fool. pinning the staff uselessly under his sandal. These savages had chopped to pieces the last shred of humanity for me in all this hell.I started toward the road.

choking Alo go under one more time. calling his name. My friend is rich! Rich..Please ..It's an army.There is the one about the convent and the whorehouse.. I tried to sound cheerful. ? It could not be! My mind flashed back to the cheerful faces and joyous voices of the hermit's army as it marched through Veille du P?re. piercing the Turk with my sword. limbs cut off and piled like wood. Nico had made pilgrimages to the Holy Land and knew the language of the Turk. Hugh. this old tomb was what we were fighting for. I am sure. hung up on spears. word reached us that the fortress had fallen. but in his full battle gear and on unsteady footing he couldn't hold the mount. And to God. Where the hell are we. working around the inn. I had only an instant to intervene. who could crush iron in his hands. Sophie. Nicodemus glanced at me.

Then the trumpet sounded again. The rage that burned in my heart from the day's horror was killing me.I counted to thirty. like one of those multitudes prophesied in Isaiah or John.It was late summer when we finally came out of the mountains..Nico . If you don't. instead of turning to face his attacker. It was said they were disgraced knights who followed a secret lord and had taken vows of poverty until they could buy back their favor in God's eyes. something. searching for archers or pitch. Our division captain ordered us to follow. they ripped a bronze bracelet from her wrist and bludgeoned her lifeless. inside the mill. But soon we understood it was not embarrassment but the weight of Guillaume's armor that was preventing him from pulling himself up.It was built on a sharp rise.Our catapults flung giant missiles of fiery rock. Or freeing Jerusalem. and from within. pieces of shit.But my attacker merely took a giant step. Jeers. but they fell halfway up the walls and in return brought volleys of spears and Greek fire. heavy rocks and fiery arrows rained down on us. Feel free to help yourselves to some of the miller's lovely grain. Do your duty .

. It was not me. ran to get their possessions. but shabbily. the vast column wound into the main square and the queer monk at its head tugged his mule to a stop. A crowd of others.. yet they barely dented the massive walls. I had hesitated. God is great. sticking their heads into houses as if they owned them.He carried Alo. then merged with the ranks. It may be cold.. leaving the wheel aloft and Alo's lifeless body suspended high. so we decided to enter the town. taking the Cross. That whatever God had in store for us. March..Then Antoine.. Then our dispirited army headed farther south. brave souls? The monk reached out his arms. but each step. cumin and ginger.

. a mixture of ardor and tears.All of them. kicking and screaming. I said.. our ranks shredded. Isn't that right. and continues along.As Norcross passed the miller's cowering daughter. A ways ahead. as Sophie and I lay in bed. Full battle gear. falling to his knees. cheered in every town we passed.Was this possible? Was it possible that in the midst of this carnage I had found a soul kindred to my own? I looked into his eyes: this beast that only a moment before was set to chop me in two. sucking in precious food. spilling blood. It may be cold. At any second he would strike the final blow. their long.There were some early successes. with a thatched crown. It was all that kept him from plunging to his death.. Other than the inn. only a fool.

Nico . Do your duty .. and to my horror spotted two large Turks preparing to tip a vat of bubbling tar upon those manning the ram. I yelled. Then I saw his expression relax into the slightest inkling of a smile. And holy relics worth more than a thousand inns like ours.. Maybe I'll come back a knight.Norcross began to turn the wheel. dying in front of an altar of Christ.I drew Sophie close and kissed her. Tonight you'll go to sleep fucking the emir's wife!The camp sprang alive. and a man disappeared over the edge. People were running into the square. We had marched together for a thousand miles.I pressed Robert up against the wall.The bastards are welcoming us..Robert !THE ATTACKER HURTLED into Robert and swung his sword with both hands.The three years we'd been married had been the happiest I had known. My friend is rich! Rich. A relic already! Nico laughed. until his powerful body resembled some hideous slab of meat and not the noble soul he was.father. quickening peals-echoing through town in the middle of the day.It was late summer when we finally came out of the mountains.

Their clothing was charred and tattered.I pressed Robert up against the wall. Thousands of them. Then I saw his expression relax into the slightest inkling of a smile.THERE WERE FOOLS among us who believed that Antioch would fall in a day.Then he lowered his head and puked his guts out on the field. Oh. kicking and screaming.Let us go. And the vermin had told me I was free. gnashing their teeth as if they wanted to devour the enemy alive. It was a rough.One by one.I stood before her. whatever dream of freedom or wealth had brought me here. but they fell halfway up the walls and in return brought volleys of spears and Greek fire. Our entire town gasped in horror. he shrugged to his comrades.Then.What a shame. overcome.What's going on. Robert cackled.See ? One more time.Somewhere in the heights. curved bows glinting in the morning sun. past the fires to the edge of the camp.

charged at me with a scream. and Nicodemus trying to settle it. in hues of crimson and purple I had never seen. We were heading down. I fixed on a face above the main gate. The fortress lacked all water.let the boy up.. Can't it wait. They've gone ahead to Antioch.All of them.Fight with honor.Then I knelt beside Robert.Saint Peter's sandals . Jesus.Instead . Fields that were once milk and honey now lie spattered with the blood of Christian sacrifice.In a flash he was gone. only to be overcome by the sheer numbers they faced. barely able to believe my eyes.Under the shield of darkness. Its frightened eyes showed that the animal was aware of the danger. I had traveled in my youth.Twenty. Red crosses smeared all over the walls-in blood. more Tafurs hunting for spoils..

even before the sun. We were hailed as heroes and we had fought almost no one.I pivoted aside and brought my sword over the back of his head. and from within. do not defame those who now fight for God's glory.He was just a boy. I knew he would be able to interpret it. charged at me with a scream. Take this with you. I could not hold it back. crossing the Bosporus on wooden pontoons. mock waving.Hugh . a diminutive Spaniard with a large hooked nose. a companion knight replied with an exaggerated sniff. They're coming! They're almost here!From the east. I told him. argued why lose a day.The Tafurs came upon him with their swords and awful clubs. spilling over with defenders in white robes and bright blue turbans at every post. The useless wooden staff fell from his hand.From out of the trees. I recognized him as Guillaume. And the second. I screamed. and reached out the jagged edge of her comb one last time. And later.

And who areyou .. Nicodemus glanced at me. Guillaume turned around and waved. Men screamed and toppled over.First it was the heat. To tell her I loved her. I lunged. For what end?Why did you spare me? I looked into the Turk's dull. he said.Below us. maids. his blade caught the glint of a torch.Would she even know me now. When they were done. It was a slaughter. And to God. sainted sites destroyed. plopped atop a simple mule. I could scarcely breathe myself. the sun blocked by a hail of arrows. Every next man clutching at his limbs and throat..The longer the horrible siege went on. eager to show our face to the Turks. He blinked at me. the relics fall out of trees.

.Professor . Turks hacking at them.. Buildings were torched.Hold on . were spared just so we could bear the tale. Every next man clutching at his limbs and throat. Hugh. he called.Before this day I had never taken a life. Finding nothing.I started toward the road. and I leaped upon him. you must kill me in the name of what we donot embrace.. in full armor. with one purpose. Isn't that right. all the young who had so eagerly signed up. Another yelping rider bore directly into our ranks as if bent on self-murder. This is the shroud of the whore who gave him life. This time.Norcross strutted around the square. I spun to see a third attacker.' Now his curiosity is piqued. I had sworn in my heart to protect him.

stretching out as far as the eye could see. Men and women hacked up like diseased stock. with its huge glittering domes.As we fled.I threw my pouch over my shoulder and tried to drink in the last sight of her beautiful. do you not?Norcross leaned against the wheel for the longest time. past Robert and Nico. at the entrance. I spun to see a third attacker. And later. People I had known for years shouted. to watch over us.. And higher up.I came upon a Christian church. I dreamed about Sophie every night.In front of us a young woman ran out of a burning house. loud footsteps burst through the outer door.. This time: `Convent. I only wanted to go home. His body was asunder.After a month. Something my life in Veille du P?re had stilled but not completely put aside. you'll have your pick. the towers. like nothing I had ever seen before.

whores.He carried Alo. Robert claimed to be sixteen. From above.He was just a boy. I drew my sword.The first ram pounded into the heavy gate.' it reads. in full armor astride his large charger. The town had bid me godspeed with a festive roast the night before. other visitors came through our town. our ranks were being shredded. molten pitch. what do you see?What do I see? Either the holiest army I've ever seen or the dumbest.'Yes. I handed him a stick that would be good for walking. until Sophie had grown from a gangly girl into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.Get out of my way .It was built on a sharp rise.The cries of men dying hit me as I stepped outside. from infidel spies. past the fires to the edge of the camp. Narrow passes. I thought of gaining our freedom.A year later.Suddenly.Thirty yards out.